Alma

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phoenix-falls:

malformalady:

Wisconsin snow storm versus flooding in Ireland

Ireland isn’t fucking around with the sealing capabilities of their doors

thesugarhole:

if we are talking in person and i accidentally spit dont even call out i saw it and im dead inside

(Source: thesugarhole, via perks-of-being-chinese)

silversora:

If a dead ancestor doesn’t appear in the sky to stop me, it can’t be that bad of a decision

(via bastille)

godzillacat:

silohouettes:

This is actually disgusting. Forcing a child who doesn’t know any better to do something just because you believe in it. No child should be made to wear Crocs in public please stop this.

I was about to get angry
toocooltobehipster:

shopping bitch

emmugh:

I like new friends because I can reuse old jokes

(via pizza)

vergen:

randomly compliment people because sometimes that will be the only kind words they will hear that day

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

obscurebourgeoisie:

don’t buy colgate whitening toothpaste

it says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days

15 days have come and gone

and i am still asian

(Source: quasidrome, via perks-of-being-chinese)

danger-mouz:

calirosegold:

patronustrip:

tootsienoodles:

freackthehopeful:

skylarghost:

weasleyrocksyoursocks:

seong:

I AM FUCKING SCREAMING BECAUSE THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE BEST THING EVER
SWEET JESUS

You have your mother’s cheek bones

godDAMMIT NOW WE’RE SHIPPING CUTLERY
TUMBLR YOU NEED TO S T O P

I hope this post comes back to me when it has a short story attached. 

The Utensils were a happy family, just like any other. Fork was a loving, caring father, who worked at a bank, and Spoon was his beautiful wife, who owned a small business that allowed her to spend a lot of time with their son, Spork. Every day, when Fork came home from work, he gently clinked against the rim of Spoon’s face and asked how her day had been. She would go on and on about how her Aunt Bowl was letting anyone fill her up these days, and telling him he would never guess who they got a phone call from today (it was his brother, Knife), and he would just lean back against the china cabinet, staring at his wife’s beautiful reflective surface, and know everything was right in the world. 
One day, however, everything was suddenly not right in the world at all.
Fork woke up in the silverware drawer and instantly knew something was wrong. He looked over to where Spoon normally slept, confused when he saw nothing but empty space. Or, at least, he thought it was empty. It took him a minute to see the small note left there. Oh no. God, no, he thought.
He picked up the note with shaking prongs, and read amid tears:
“Fork,
     I’m sorry to leave you like this, but I just couldn’t face seeing you. It’s too painful. I’m not strong enough to tell you this to your face, and I know that makes me a coward. I know that makes me a horrible utensil. But I can’t do this anymore.
     Do you remember Cow’s party the other night? The night she was so drunk she swore she jumped over the moon? Well, I met someone that night. His name is Dish. And we’re running away together.
     Please, don’t try and find us. Dish makes me happy. He doesn’t spend all day staring at me, looking at himself in my reflection. 
Goodbye, Fork.
-Spoon”
Fork collapsed to the ground, wishing he could tell Spoon that the reason he loved staring at her reflective surface so much, was because of the way her surface magnified everything around her, making it seem so much greater and more beautiful than people could see themselves as normally. Her personality did the same thing. It’s what he loved most about her. And what he would miss most of all.

I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS FUCKING SITE.


bra..fucking..vo

sweet jesus i’m crying over cutlery

thecelestialselkie:

normanbecile:

normanbecile:

sometimes i wanna be top

and sometimes i wanna be bottom

ya’know?

image

look at that fancy fuckin bunkbed jesus christ. back in my day, there were no stairs for easy access to the top. the road to the top bunk was a vertical fucking climb of wooden slats that you had to scramble to find purchase on. the one that made it to the top was not only a victor, but a survivor

(Source: postimpression, via camarand)

(Source: ellen-degeneresfan, via shannonwolfe0)

macintush:

"It’s pronounced like jif"

Yeah well I don’t gif a fuck

(via pizza)

swagking4000:

there was a big explosion sound outside and i pulled aside my curtain to see what it was but as i did so, so did the woman across the street and we both sort of waved at each other and it was nice even though something may have exploded

(Source: xbox420, via bastille)

pimpdaddytavros:

i want to be rebellious but i dont want to get in trouble  

(via bastille)

dirtyhipsterharry:

when u like the boy but ur friend is prettier so he likes her

(via perks-of-being-chinese)